I jumped off the ledge of a 35 foot waterfall in an Indian reservation
located in northern Arizona; Havasupai, without so much of a glance at the
bottom until I was falling towards it. I leaped without looking because if I
had, it would have taken longer to jump or I may not have jumped at all. It was
exhilarating as it was frightening, but I landed correctly and my body floated
effortlessly down the spiraling, turquoise river as if I were a mermaid. The
ambiance I felt remains in my thoughts distinctly, like a taste of a favorite
pastry or wine. Everything was simply okay, blissful.
I sold my beloved Subaru on Friday (the 4th). Surely, it will be missed, but
the regret of staying home; abstaining from a trip that will surely shape my
future and guide me towards realistic career aspirations became an intolerable
thought. With the addition of funds and yet another buddy pass, I'm making a
small trip to Barcelona, Spain before heading to the DR. A tad bit out of the
way, yes. Worth it?-Perhaps more than anyone knows.
I had to sell my car, because I couldn't stand to see my opportunity go
rushing past me.
I can't (and won't) wait any longer. The stress and anxiety of planning this
trip has revealed how strong my ambition can be. I'm doing something irregular
from most, and like I've said before: the unfamiliar can be very frightening.
My fear is accompanied by pride; I'm proud of myself for making it happen,
despite of people insisting that I "wait to go another time" or that
I'm "crazy." I understand that if I decided to stay, graduate, go to
PA school, get married, have kids, etc.. That it would be much easier for my
friends and family to accept, but
what is it worth if it's easier to
obtain? Do not confuse my decisions as being the best... Everyone is
doing the best they can. The decisions each of us make are what distinguishes
us to be different and concurrently, inclusively good, no matter what paths are
traveled.
As long as there is a goal to be achieved or a dream to be followed, life
will be lush and tolerable. And at the most fearful times, where uncertainty
hangs in the back of the head or heart, leaping into the unknown; jumping off
of the edge of a waterfall, stepping into a plane and onto foreign soil, or
learning another language is necessary for the soul, to capture it at the
finest, weakest, and strongest moments in which it becomes individualistically
revealed. Regardless of what it reveals, character is uncovered and one learns
a little more about themselves, one unstable/uncertain step at a time.
